You remember as a kid hearing your parent yell the familiar chant “you want something done, you gotta’ do it yourself!” as you walk away utterly confused? You remember vividly that they didn’t even ask you to help them in the first place. You had no problem assisting them in their time of need, but you figured your assistance was not needed because it wasn’t asked for. Now you have an irate parent that is upset you aren’t helping when you weren’t asked to help… I think it’s because in the back of the parent’s mind the child, “really didn’t want to help,” but how would they know if THEY NEVER ASKED! That mindset some of us have grown up has carried well on into our adulthood. Needing help desperately, but not wanting to ask and then getting upset when no one helps you. But why are we so afraid to ask for a lending ear when we need to vent, or a shoulder to cry on when life is tough, or just plain ol’ HELP. Why are we so afraid to acknowledge that we don’t have it all together, and sometimes a second-hand is needed?

It is important to understand that we have to be willing to admit that we indeed need help. Seeking to identify our vulnerabilities is a beginning step to actively and correctly care for ourselves. We as women carry the weight of the WORLD it seems every single day, and there is nothing more depressing than feeling alone while doing it. We lock ourselves up in our minds and create the delusion that no one understands our struggles, and we don’t have anyone to talk too. That is no one, but the enemy that wants to keep you in isolation to make you believe that lie. DONT DO IT. I have found myself harboring emotions, and feelings to myself because I didn’t want to burden to anyone venting about my issues. Because after all, they are my issues. I found myself in the midst of a mental breakdown because I created this image that nobody wanted to hear about my damaging issues that were silently affecting me. It wasn’t until I did tell a close friend of mine, and the outpouring of support and love was overwhelming. I WAS INDEED NEVER ALONE. She had no clue the pain I was in because I never said anything. Not one single word. You see so many women who are experiencing the same struggles as I was needed to hear my troubles. But what I was finding out is that my isolated thoughts were causing me so much chaos and pain in my life, because my mind was being disturbed. I was desperately needing help but was so ashamed to ask for advice. Understand that “help” doesn’t have to be a thing…”Help” is an ear to listen, a shoulder for a hug, a talk for confirmation, a journal for healing, or even a cry for release. However, no one can give you those things if you never ask for them…

Pastor John Gray said “It is important that people genuinely ask you “How are you doing”, but it is even MORE important, to tell the truth at that moment.” Too many times we are punishing people in our lives for “not being there”, or not understanding us, but the truth is simply, some people don’t know that they are actually needed in your life…(did you catch that?) Until we fully understand that it is okay to not be okay all the time, so many of us will continue to live a life in isolation fighting battles that you don’t have to fight alone…

-Sho

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