It was leaking. I was leaking. I was trying to figure out why my cup couldn’t stay full, and why couldn’t I feel the way that I so used to make other feels. Had my gift not worked on myself? You see people were pouring into me, they were. Giving me droplets of what they had left, but for some reason what was being poured into could never make its way to the top for me to drink from it. I kept wondering why my spirit and my heart kept longing for a thirst that I thought I was quenching, but you see my cup had a hole in it. I was so busy pouring into others in overdrive, that I had actually become blind to the people that were standing around my cup. No one informed me that the same cup that I use to pour into others, should not be the cup that people were pouring into me. So on those days where I was pouring and pouring, and pouring, those desperately seeking to get what I was dispensing, I hadn’t even realized that they were doing anything necessary so they could to get what was in the cup. Pulling, Dropping, Tearing away at something so valuable that I was already trying to give them. I hadn’t even realized that I was encountering people who were slowly destroying the very gift that was already there.
But you see people, sometimes only want the prize inside the cracker jack box, not the popcorn itself. Leaving me with the scraps of the very cup that was supposed to have been mine in the first place. So when it came time for me to pour into myself with the cup that I thought others were pouring into me, I was still empty. You see because my cup had a hole in it.